Clash of the Titans (2010)

I like Greek mythology films and I like humans with swords fighting things like giant scorpions, so I was always going to go see this film. I went with a big group to Somerville Theatre. As my friend Todd said, Somerville theater doesn't have 3-D but it does have beer-goggle-vision which is undoubtedly better. The movie was just okay. Perseus was a dud without a lot of motivation. I remember that in the 1981 version he wants to save Andromeda from the Kraken because, basically, she's a damsel in distress. In this one he just wants revenge on Hades, and that's it. He does not register a single other emotion. The other big problem was that the action scenes were very poorly done with herky-jerky camera work and sub-par digital creatures. They were utterly confusing. At least with Ray Harryhausen, even though it was clear that the creatures were big blobs of clay, the action was filmed to make sense.

The good stuff? The Kraken wasn't bad, and there was a great shot of his head right in front of Andromeda. Also, I love watching RSC-trained actors play Greek gods in cheesy movies. I loved it in the original and I loved it in this. Ralph Fiennes is an absolute crazed Hades and Liam Neeson is a decent sparkly Zeus. I wished there had been more of Danny Huston as Poseidon. The best performance was probably Mads Mikkelsen (Le Chiffre in Casino Royale) as Draco, an Argos soldier. He has Pippi Longstocking hair and still looks tough. He also seems to be having fun, something Sam Worthington never remotely registers.

For those fans of the original, Bubo makes a cameo.